Regular Life

Regular Life

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost

25 Signs You Have Grown Up

I hate to post things that already have made the rounds, but this seemed to fit the theme some of us are batting around the comments areas lately. Plus, if you haven’t seen it, you might enjoy it.

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

25. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
24. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
23. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
22. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
21. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
20. You watch the Weather Channel.
19. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
18. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
17. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
16. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
15. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
14. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
12. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
11. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
10. You take naps.
9. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
8. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
7. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
6. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”
5. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
4. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
3. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
2. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “What the hell happened?”
And the number one sign you are getting old is:
1. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it.

7 Responses to 25 Signs You Have Grown Up

  1. Ha Ha! I don’t take naps. That means I’m still young….right?

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  2. I don’t watch the Weather Channel, though I have been known to ‘check it’ before going out.

    Dinner and a movie is more frequently just dinner. No movie.

    Jeans and a sweater is SO dressed up!

    Having sex in a twin bed is NEVER out of the question.

    So there.

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  3. I’ve known that I’ve been grown up for years. Yet when I look in the mirror is still see a young man. Even with the receded hair line, grey mustache and neck and face that are the same width. I don’t picture myself looking like my Dad or any of my friend’s Dads when they were this age.

    I fail to “see” the grown-up in me, but I can feel it every day.

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  4. I’m only “guilty” of like, three of these. Does that qualify me? I feel like I’m standing looking at almost-eye-level, the sign that says You have to be this tall to ride this ride.

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  5. Not all these fit me, but I found particularly funny the one about finding out a friend is pregnant.

    Moksha – No naps ever? Man, it feels so great. I admit, I rediscovered their splendor while still a (traditional) sophomore in college.

    I’m with you Simon, on number 24. Wait, that didn’t come out right. What I meant was… nevermind.

    Blitz – Ha! I know what you mean. Whose gray hairs are these, and who put them on my head?

    Linda – I’m not “tall enough” for most of the rides in the grown-up world, but I’m making it fine so far.

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  6. Haha on the #24 with Simon ;-) Any sex on any bed with anybody is not out of the question, for heaven’s sake.
    You don’t have any gray hair, do you? Wait, don’t tell me. I already experienced TMI with some other men today ;-)

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  7. *ROTFL* Yep… I fit most of those….

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