(readers of “Apartment Life” may click here for Part Four)
It might be a little too soon since the last one, but here’s another round of Benglish, quotes from our toddler.
“Daddy, don’t wiggle the van.” (While I drove us along a road under construction.)
“My stomach-ache is growling.”
“No, don’t say,’Bummer.’ Surfers say, ‘Bummer.'”
“Don’t turn the fan on. Pee-pee does not stink. Because poop stinks.” (When I took him to go potty, he insisted that I not turn on the exhaust vent, which I was not even thinking of doing.)
“Don’t squeeze me. You might squash me.” (When he sat on my lap and I hugged him from behind. Apparently he has seen his mommy grab up crickets — we’re under siege — and squash them in a tissue or a square of toilet paper — which of course we can have Ben go get for us now.)
“Don’t eat my mac and cheese while I go potty.” (When we’re at a restaurant, he says things like this any time he has to leave the table to take care of business. We’ve never stolen his food. Honest.)
I can tell you this: nobody better steal this from me when I make it.
Behold the perfectly grilled turkey and provolone sandwich.
(Wow. Can you tell I was reaching for an excuse to post that photo?)