Regular Life

“Okay, you start changing, and I’ll come back to check on you in a minute,” I said.

Hanging around while he changes almost guarantees he will waste time putting on the Benjamin show instead of changing into his pajamas. A carefully orchestrated series of distractions, it simultaneously entertains the boy and frustrates the parent.

“Hey, I could feel you talking in my dresser,” he said.

I noticed that his feet were propped up against the side of his dresser.

“You mean you could feel the vibrations in your feet while I talked?” I said, opening my throat more to make my voice resonate. I’m a sucker for pretty much any audience, so naturally I wanted to enhance his experience.

“It’s like, a lump of air came from your mouth and went into my dresser, and I felt it.”

I blinked. Part of me hit the ceiling.

“Yes, son, that’s right. The sound from my mouth pushes the air into waves and they go into other things and make them vibrate. Very good, Benjamin.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Okay, keep going. I’ll come right back.” I said.

I turned and walked away so he would start changing his clothes. My explanation probably wasn’t scientifically accurate, but I figured it would do in the moment. I didn’t have time to set up a wave lab like we did in high school physics.

I walked straight to the refrigerator scratch pad to jot down our conversation.

Some may remember the Liger from Napoleon Dynamite. It is the animal that results from the combination of a lion and a tiger, and it is real. So are the Zonkey, the Zorse, and the Pizzly. Don’t believe it? See the link below.

http://outside.away.com/outside/culture/200708/hybrid-animals-1.html

For years I believed that the nectarine is a hybrid of the peach and the plum. The smooth skin came from the plum, while the rest was peach-like. Certainly, there are real hybrid fruits — Orangelo, Tangelo — but on this one, I was wrong.

Researching how long humans have cultivated hybrids, I stumbled across a thread featuring not-so-real fruit and vegetable hybrids. My favorites are the limenut and the pearkin. Find what you like here:
http://www.freakingnews.com/Hybrid-fruits-and-vegetables-Pictures–1079.asp

Just remember, you can lead a Zorse to water, but you Canta-banana.

Both of us chewed our bites as we looked at the crispy rice bar package.

“Why is there a 2-8-9 right there?” Ben said.

“That says 28 grams. That’s how much it weighs.”

“How much it weighs?”

“Well, actually, that’s the mass.”

“What is mass?”

I was fortunate that after just a few seconds of silence, the boy changed the topic. I enjoyed high school physics as much as any other class, but I wasn’t prepared to explain mass to a kindergartner.

I’m pretty sure I know just the man who would have been up to the task, if anybody. He happens to be the boy’s maternal grandfather, and we have visual proof that he has addressed small children at least once.

This note was made by a second grader (click to enlarge), and the proper salutation would have addressed Shannon’s dad as “Dr.,” but we’re not here to quibble over such details. I blurred out anything that would implicate the innocent.

It makes me glad that even today kids still use crayons and pencils, because who knows where a jpg will be in 33 years?

Today I have a question for the readers. A challenge of sorts, I guess one could say. Don’t worry; I’m soliciting your mind, not your wallet.

On New Year’s Day, while watching Benjamin draw and color things on a portable dry-erase board, I said, “What do you see in that ladder?”

“What?” he said.

“What makes up that ladder you just drew?”

“I don’t know.”

“A stack of H’s. See?” I said.

“Yes, I see. That’s cool.”

Then I wondered what else one could build from letters, and right away the letter “A” came to mind. The A-frame house is the most famous, used throughout history. It also is seen in the simple and common sawhorse.

What other English letters are good for structural support? The letter “D” is pretty good turned 90 degrees counter-clockwise, thanks to the resulting arch. The “B” would suit fine, too, for the same reason. It’s always good to mount a “Z” on a swinging gate.

I know I have at least one physicist reading this, and at least one civil engineer.

Today’s question is this: what letter of the English alphabet is the best for structural support? Uppercase or lowercase. You may turn it but not contort it, you may use it in combination with other letters, and you may give examples of types of structures that would benefit from one letter shape over another. I’m merely asking that you send letters of support.

Go.

I once read that a blog was a place for one to share interesting and timely links with others, perhaps within a comment or two on the topics covered. Considering that almost zero of the blogs I read actually fit that description, I laughed and ignored this.

But here I am fitting in the mold cast by that particular columnist (*cough* *cough* PC Magazine’s John C. Dvorak *cough*). And, because it’s timely, I made a rare lunchtime post (which needed to be short for obvious reasons).

Mainly, I wanted to be the first one (as far as I know) to make this joke. I just found a new meaning for the song, “When Irish Eyes are Smiling.” On a more serious note, you’ll be amazed by such a medical breakthrough. My title suggestion for the movie based on this man’s story? My Left Tooth

Another eye-catcher (oh, sorry), is the new mnemonic phrase created by a 10-year-old. She won a National Geographic contest to help people remember the names of the 11 planets of our solar system, in order of distance from the sun. Gee, when I went to school there were only nine. Her winning phrase?

My Very Exciting Magic Carpet Just Sailed Under Nine Palace Elephants.

My only problem with it is the word “very,” because it is forgettable, but I can’t come up with anything better. It makes sense and should serve well, especially after Lisa Loeb releases her song based on it. That last part is no joke, apparently.

If you don’t believe me, or you just want to know the names of those two extra planets, and see a cool artist’s rendering of all 11, then read it yourself.

UPDATE: Link in last paragraph changed to different site, same story.

Popsicles never looked so strong.
(click to make bigger and sharper)

With all the talk lately of aging bridges across the United States, I’m reminded of my high school physics class’s bridge building contest.

The guy above, whom I’ve known since second grade, is the subject of my series “First Best Friend.” We’ll call him “Chris,” since that’s his name. We’ve lost touch and re-connected a few times over the years, and the last time we spent substantial time together was our freshman year in college.

Still, one memory remains burned into my brain.

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A boy moves tiles that represent spaceport buildings.
(Click any pic to enlarge.)

The Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination exhibit at the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History wasn’t like a convention at all. The crowd resembled the folks seen at church, the mall, downtown, or at the office. Only a few kids were dressed up like characters from the movies.

Had we been there the day before, at the costume contest, it would have been a different story.

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On a recent trip to a neighborhood park, Ben looks at the pool. (click for better version)

My parents will arrive sometime today (Sunday), and will stay until Tuesday. I’m not sure how often I’ll post over that time, but there’s sure to be lots of content from it. I’ll show mercy when deciding what and how much to post.

I’m off work all week, and my lunch hours provide the best respite for writing. Yes, I’m that guy often huddled over his laptop in the upstairs breakroom where, by the grace of some higher force in the universe, the TV is off and, by the grace of an even higher force, not spewing forth Fox News like the one downstairs.

Speaking of the universe…

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