Father’s Date Night

Sometimes, when you’re married with children, you take turns spending the occasional evening away from the home life. If you’re fortunate enough to not have work the next day, you can enjoy the benefits of tucking the child in bed and kissing the spouse goodnight before leaving for your night of reckless abandon.

Or, shameless nerdy fun, on a case-by-case basis.

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Rock Me

A co-worker returned from the doctor and announced, “I have strep.”

We all knew what she meant, but my question (which I did not ask) was, “Really? Strep ear? Strep foot?”

Sometimes abbreviating a term or a phrase can be funny, and sometimes it can be aggravating. I can’t stand it when someone about to leave says, “Do you want to go with?”

Likewise, it bothers me to hear, “Do me,” instead of “Do me, baby.” Don’t be lazy, folks. The words are there for a reason.

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A Cinnamon What?

My wife reminded me of a couple of funny lyrics from my past. One is a misheard lyric, but the other is an intentional play on words.

No children read this, right? I have cleaned this post up a bit so that, instead of blurting out the word in question, I give a hint and leave it to the adult mind. I hope no parents get questioned about this one. I’m sorry and I hope it never comes back to haunt me one day.

If you like the song “Eminence Front” by The Who, then you may wish to skip this post. You might never hear that song the same again.

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Reverend Blue Jeans

“Just on hold on Lucy…” Shannon sang as .38 Special played on the radio.

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Is that not right?”

“It’s ‘Hold on loosely.'”

Some of our favorite moments as a couple occur when one of us sings a misheard lyric. This happens mostly during songs written before our shared lives began. What’s funnier than hearing your wife belt out a wrong lyric at the top of her lungs, only to be corrected lovingly (or sometimes not so much) by you? You swear you can see a light bulb above her head as she realizes, “Oh, that makes much more sense.”

Of course, this also applies to husbands who flub the lyrics and get laughed at by their wives, including me. I just hate writing “his or her” all the time, so I try to pick a gender and run with it. Kind of like running with scissors.

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