Regular Life

Now, you see, it’s that kind of sarcasm that’s given our marriage real spice.
– Buster, from Stephen King’s Misery

Me: (Watching a video of a boy stacking bricks on his head) No way. He doesn’t even bend that board when he walks across it.

Wife: Honey, I’m reading.

Me: I have to watch that again. I have a hard time buying that for a dollar.

Wife: Can I get you to shut up for a dollar?

In the words of Buster, “There’s that spice again.”

This vehicle sat in a parking lot in Plano, Texas.

To see each sticker in detail, click below.

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Setting: At a local fast-food joint
Characters: Benjamin (my five-year-old), Alvis, his son “AE” (a six-year-old), and me.
Props: Toy dogs from the kids’ meals.

AE: Look at my dog, Mark; he’s going into space.

Me: Cool. Can you tell me one of the planets he might see out there?

Benjamin: Tatooine

Okay, Ubuntu Linux, I’ve been running you at home for more than six months, and I like you a lot.

But the one little gotcha?

You aren’t as accommodating as Windows when it comes to editing video. Everything else I do — and I mean everything, you do as well or better. As a result of your one downfall, my posting of cute home videos has been severely curtailed.

On Thursday night I booted into Windows just to update it because there was a new threat infecting millions of computers. Kind of funny, huh, that the one reason I booted into the OS that’s vulnerable to this attack was so that I could download the protection against the attack?

Anyway, Ubuntu, while I was in Windows, I noticed that there were lots of Adobe Premiere Elements (video editor) project files that I never had polished into finished videos. Some were more than two years old, and as a result scored very high on the smile scale when my wife and I watched them.

A couple of very interesting things happened.

First, I found myself missing the simple (but time-consuming) process of turning these videos from excruciating to tolerable. Second, Windows Explorer crashed and the taskbar disappeared for a moment, leaving Adobe open. Then, while I watched more footage of my son playing in his room, the taskbar reappeared. I run Windows XP every day at work, with lots of applications open simultaneously, and NEVER have a problem with it. I’m blaming my home computer glitch on Adobe.

None of the preceding paragraph happened in Ubuntu in the six months I have been running it. While crashes or freeze-ups can occur in Ubuntu, it’s very rare. Ease in video editing, I fear, could be a long time coming.

So, Ubuntu, pardon me if I spend some time with my old friend, Windows XP. Yes, the moment I turned my back on you and ran into XP’s arms, it burped in my face. I feel the need to get back to preserving those memories, however, so as long as XP doesn’t eat onions, I’ll suffer through. You and I will be spending some time apart. Forgive but don’t forget. I shall return.

Memes rarely interest me, but this one seemed worth a shot. Thanks (or not) to Simon for passing it along.

bold = done it
italics = want to
strike = don’t want to
Plus snarky comments

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band. (School and rock.)
4. Visited Hawaii. (But my wife got me a long-sleeve t-shirt.)
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland. (I’m counting Walt Disney World.)
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis. (And made it beg for mercy while masking my own fear.)
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning. (But how can one know for sure?)
17. Walked to the top of The Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. (Sounds like a trick question, but no, it really is in France.)
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight. (Ask my brother, who “jacked” my jaw.)
22. Hitch hiked. (Too much of a chickenshite.)
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. (For the wife and kid, ya know? ;->)
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping. (The mosquitoes won the night.)
27. Run a Marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse. (Using the white cards.)
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. (I’m pretty sure this never happens, because money is not the answer for satisfaction.)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke. (And “Little Red Corvette” has never been the same since for at least 47 people.)
42. Seen the Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. (Best way to enjoy a beach.)
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted. (I’m counting caricature. Hey, he was a professional.)
48. Gone deep sea fishing. (Those nasty little squid in the bait troughs.)
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. (Cross the Florida Kee-ee-eees…)
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud. (See above.)
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business. (I’d say owning your own riding lawnmower and trailer as a teenager counts.)
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check. (My brother and I held a joint account in college — not the best arrangement.)
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.

71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt. (Who’s going to do this in the future?)
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. (As the sole rider, but not the soul rider, which would be very different. Not the Seoul rider, either.)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car. (Although I know you’re “paying to drive it off the lot.”)
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible. (I got through a lot of it in college, but then I discovered girls who hadn’t known me all my life. I mean, I needed to study for my courses.)
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. (I’ve done the first part, but it wasn’t the eating kind.)
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. (As an astute reader pointed out, I have caught, killed, and eaten fish.)
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury. (Missed it by that much.)
91. Met someone famous. (Isaac Hayes, in his home, about three weeks before he died.)
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby. (Participated, at least.)
95. Seen the Alamo in person. (The other missions are much cooler.)
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a mobile phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

There are four reasons I started having trouble coming up with blog posts in 2008. I have no control over two of them and only a little power to change the others.

There is one, however, that could make for an interesting saga in 2009. More on that momentarily (with pic goodness).

For one, I’m running out of stories from my past. That I cannot change. I never again will slide my first car (before it was my car) into a ditch after deceiving my friend’s parents about who drove him home (before I had a license), and then have to walk back to their house to tell them I needed help.

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Here I await the start of Swinging Safari.

it’s absolutely fantastic, an instant classic that actually turned out to be better than my expectations… If you don’t have a PS3 yet, this is the reason to get one. — Chris Roper, IGN Entertainment, Games

touching upon a marriage of technology and style that rivals the work of Pixar — Chris Leyton, TotalVideoGames.com

LittleBigPlanet™

It’s a strange word. Filled with contradiction, one might say. An oxymoron, if you will.

As a game title, though, it’s more fun than you can shake a controller at. It inspired me to take my first crack at a game review. I write it to give a few non-gamers a glimpse at something they would never even glance at otherwise, and to give those of you thinking of buying it an average user’s opinion.

A Breed Apart

More than just a side-scroller on steroids, LittleBigPlanet™ (LBP) allows the user experience to be different every time. One can move objects around by pulling, pushing, or just plain jumping on them, sometimes to see what’s inside, sometimes to reach a point unreachable through a normal jump. Unlike other scrollers I’ve played, several obstacles can be surmounted in any number of ways; it’s up to the player’s ingenuity to decide. It also gives a little depth by allowing a few steps backward or forward in addition to movement left and right.

I admit I’m a bit green in recent gaming technology, so perhaps I’m easily impressed by the physics-based gameplay. I have read, however, that even experienced game developers wish they had created this one.

(please excuse the tiny nature of the screenshots – they’re the biggest the game allows right now)

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For the first time since the Atari 2600, I own a gaming console (and technically the Atari belonged to our whole family).

There’s a part of me, the part that thinks we as a country don’t read enough and watch way too much television, that thinks it is a silly waste of time that only contributes to the dumbing down of America. Another, the part that loves to hike and be in the woods, says that it will only help keep us indoors when we should be outdoors.

Then I remembered that it’s all about balance. Yes, I logged lots of hours playing Atari on the weekends and when it was very cold outside, but my fondest memories are of playing outdoors, and I managed to develop a love for reading and to get good grades.

So, if video games didn’t make me stupid, chances are they won’t make my child stupid. As long as we make sure he doesn’t play them too much.

Now, whether or not I as an adult, with much less free time than a child who is out of school, should spend valuable time playing video games, is another question.

There are few indoor activities more fun, though, than sitting next to my son on the couch as we move our characters through a dazzling world and work together to complete challenges. Then, of course, there’s the dancing. But this isn’t about one particular game.

Which brings me back to the reason I’m writing this — the gaming console I chose.

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(click to enlarge)

During our Thanksgiving trip back home, Shannon and I took our son to see our college. It’s a beautiful campus featuring majestic hardwoods, but most were completely bare that late in the season. We found this ornamental outside the dorm where she lived the first semester of her freshman year.

We met and got married while attending school there, and walked from our tiny one-bedroom apartment to campus together at least three days a week (for Anthropology, the only class we shared). I still have the duck shoes I wore while slogging across the lawn in heavy rain, 16 years ago. The umbrellas we used are long gone.

The boy fell asleep by the time we finished the 40-minute drive to the site, and remained that way the whole hour we toured and reminisced. Just as well. He probably would have been bored out of his five-year-old mind.