Regular Life

Regular Life

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost

Not Amphibious

Benjamin splashes in the bathtub as I lean over the side.

He plunges a toy squirting frog under the water and squeezes it, then lets it slowly draw in its fill. “My frog loves the water,” he says.

“Yep, most frogs do. You know, frogs are amphibians. That means they live on the land or the water. Or both,” I say. Then I consider that reptiles fit that description, too, and go on to distinguish the two. “Amphibians start out breathing underwater, and then they switch and breathe the air.”

“Frogs are amphibians?” Benjamin says and squirts water from the frog to the tub wall.

“Yes.”

He makes a glug-glug noise as he again sinks the frog to the bathwater’s depths for a refill.

“My pee-pee’s not an amphibian,” he says.

Accustomed to conversations turning to someone’s bottom, a toot, or Ben’s privates, I dial my laughter down to a chuckle and say, “No, son, it isn’t.”

16 Responses to Not Amphibious

  1. That’s my boy (she says, shaking her head).

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  2. *LOL* Out of the mouth of Babe’s…!

    You need to start a book… called “Benn’isms” for future publish!!!

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  3. Yes, we all know that trouser snakes are reptiles. His grasp of science and how it relates to his privates is getting better every day…but it truly is a life-long journey.

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  4. I like how Shan’s comments fits for BOTH of her boys.

    Shannon – For The Win!!

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  5. I can totally see how one could go from a frog to a pee-pee. It is so simple really.

    :)

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  6. The amphibious wanker comment….always priceless.

    I love the posts about Ben.

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  7. Shan – Well, you know, it must be in his jeans. I mean, genes.

    Dave – You callin’ my wife a babe?

    I know, you were referring to a “baby,” as in isn’t it funny what they say. But my wife is a babe.

    Moksha – Ha! That’s great. It makes so much sense. A trouser snake is, in fact, a reptile.

    Simon – She usually wins. Dang!

    Anna – No need for tacky gender-based comments. You tryin’ to get banned?

    Charles – “amphibious wanker” We better hope Simon doesn’t read that, or he’ll have a new favorite insult.

    The Ben posts are my favorites, too, but I try to be careful not to be “that guy” who posts things that are interesting only to close family. It’s a fine line.

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  8. I SUBSCRIBE to the comments, Mark. I read EVERYTHING! You amphibious wanker.

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  9. Mark, let’s face it….most of us guys really never get over those subjects :)

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  10. Sarch – And the truth finally is told.

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  11. Did I say something wrong?!?!

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  12. Anna – No, I was just joking.

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  13. I missed so much by not having a son! Alas and alack!!!

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  14. Oh, ok…good…sounded like I needed to go to the principals office…my defense? “Mark said it too!”

    ;)

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  15. Take it any way you want! *ROTFL* I ain’t telling….

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  16. He was totally calling me a babe. Thanks, Dave! ;o)

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