Snowy Coffee at IKEA
Posted in Kids, Parenting, True Story on Mar 4th, 2008
(Readers of “Bernie” will be pleased — I hope — to find that the stuffed Part Ten really starts moving things along.)
Here’s the snow that piled up Monday night while all this was going on. Most we’ve seen (here) in the 2.5 years we’ve lived here. See Benjamin’s little Megablok wagon out there? Yeah, it was on top of that gray toy bin until the wind blew it off.
You may recall our first trip to the nearby IKEA. If you’re unfamiliar with that name, then just know that it’s a humongous store with almost everything you could imagine, including more than one restaurant. And, if you don’t mind putting together the furniture you buy, using the included tool plus a few of your own that you weren’t warned you would need and so then you have to get up from your perfectly arranged assortment of directions, screws, piece A and piece B to fetch a couple screwdrivers, then it’s a great place for you.
Plus, if you don’t mind buying a twin bed set (to replace your son’s toddler bed) and having nobody inform you that the slats are not included in either of the two boxes, and then you have to drive the 15 minutes back out to IKEA in the blinding snow (yes, I said snow on March 3 in northern Texas!), the hardest snow of the winter season, and get home just as your wife is drying off your son, put the slats in, set the mattress on them, and somehow finagle the regular twin sheets onto a mattress that suspiciously resembles a futon pad — then IKEA is for you.
Or, if you just want a free cup of coffee, bought for you by a guy who overheard you say you didn’t want to put $0.75 on your debit card (the cafe’s minimum is $1), and then whom you helped lift some heavy stuff into his minivan while he explained that he was newly divorced and just now starting to set up furniture for his kids in his new place, and your final words to him were, “I hope everything else goes well for you, too,” then IKEA will fit you perfectly.
The biggest payoff? When your lovely and loving wife puts your son to bed and he says, in a fake southern drawl, “Mommy, I luuuv my new bayud.”
*LOL* Well, a better description of IKEA might be “A huge Swedish store that started out selling furniture, but now sells everything including the kitchen sink!”
This link tells you a lot about IKEA:
http://www.ikea.com/ms/en_US/about_ikea_new/about/index.html
We have one about 35 miles from us.. and I’ve been there a few times. I tend to spend too much when I go there.. *LOL*
If you live in Texas, and you’re from Arkansas, is it REALLY a fake accent? C’mon now…
The only IKEA around here is on the southern end of the city, so it’s a 30 minute commute to go to the big store. But you did describe it quite accurately. There’s one friend of ours who admitted (can’t remember who now) that they have kept every single allen key they’ve ever gotten in a box of IKEA furniture. That bothers me.
Great meatballs though!
We don’t have an IKEA :( I’ve seen them in Chicago, but other than a view of the huge structure from the outside, I really can’t join in this fun.
However, the bit about the coffe and the heavy lifting warmed my heart (and my heart could use some warming here since we got hit with the same cold snap you guys did). Although I, mysefl am horrible at chatting with strangers, it alwasy makes me smile to see people connect and help each other out like that.
Si - IKEA meetballs? How the hell are you supposed to put THOSE together with an allen key?
Moksha, you don’t put them together with an allen key, silly, you put them in your mouth and eat them.
IKEA, being allegedly Swedish in origin, likes to serve (authentic?) Swedish meatballs in their restaurant. I have no idea how Swedish they are, but they are yummy.
Has anyone ever told you that you are incredibly good at run-on sentences? :) I love IKEA….oh wait let me rephrase that “lovED IKEA”…
After living in London and IKEA being the only reasonably priced place to buy furniture, I had put together 90% of our household with that tiny L shaped tool.
I still find them today in the strangest of places…..I have nightmares.
Have a good one Mark and stay warm!
Dave - That description would do, too. Thanks for the link.
Simon - I’m actually shocked at how generic his speech is at this point. I’m sure a more discerning (read: Northern) ear could hear a twang here or there.
And, yes, the meatballs are tasty!
Moksha - I almost regret relaying the coffee story through this run-on format, because it gets robbed of its potential emotional impact. When I said I didn’t want to put that tiny amount on my debit card, he said, “Here, I got it.” “No, that’s okay. It isn’t a big deal,” I said. “It’s only coffee. Here,” he said, pulled a crisp dollar bill from a stack of its siblings.
There. Now it’s done.
Moksha and Simon - I think I have a new catch phrase for when somebody’s having a bad day. “Wow, who put the allen key in his Swedish meatball?” (only, we typically call them allen wrenches around here.
Anna - I’m taking your comment as tongue-in-cheek, but I will say that I went back and revised those run-ons until they served up a stream of consciousness that everyone could follow.
That’s funny about your vast experience with IKEA’s self-assemble furniture. And, of course, there you go name-dropping again about living in London.
And, yes, it’s pure jealousy that spurs me to say that.
Those aren’t run-on sentences this is a run-on sentence! His sentences are runnning and running and running/
You’re right about the wrench part, Mark. We call them allen wrenches, too. I don’t know what the proper term is, but I think of the same thing whenever I hear:
allen key
allen wrench
hex wrench
but not “hex key”. I betcha that moniker feels left out. Almost like someone put an allen key in his Swedish meatballs, as it were.
More to the post, though, the sound clips I’ve heard of Ben leave me to believe he has a delightful speaking voice, free of any significantly discernable accent.
Speaking of accents. My favorite was from red straw. That guys sounds like a lot of fun!!!
Simon…HILARIOUS. Although I live in 1/2 of the aforementioned locations from your initial entry, I still laughed out loud at your comment. Althought I haven’t noticed any discernible accent from Ben to this point, he’s doomed to have at least a little.
It doesn’t matter how much Mark would like to think that he speaks with a neutral accent (although admittedly less than mine and less than most people in Tex and AR), if he spent even a little bit of time up north….they’d peg him in a heartbeat. It’s just in there…inherent from years of hearing the country boys tell stories around the campfires. That’s without peeling off a ya’ll or a fixin’.
I liked Mark’s long sentences, and I thought it was done for effect. It makes it feel more like there was a plethora of things that went bad when it’s written like that.
Our mother is from Kansas and that’s probably most of the reason why we speak and write at least fairly well, and she should be commended for that.
Markus….Dude, you’ve GOT to start keeping some cash in your wallet. Your example is a perfect reason. Suppose you were in that line, and someone else wanted a coffee, but didn’t have any money. You would be robbed of your opportunity to do a good deed and help that person out.
Here’s a better reason. What if, God forbid, we have another 9-11 situation, or even worse. It’s not far fetched at all that the banking system could be affected, and you might not have access to your cash. You wouldn’t want to be stranded somewhere.
Or…what about those situations where you wait in line to buy something, and then when you get there the system is taking forever to get your card to run through and the people behind you have that “dude…you’re killing us” look on their faces? That just happened to me at the zoo Saturday afternoon, and I ended up just paying cash so that I could get on with it.
OK…enough big brother advice. I hope I didn’t offend, but I’m going to continue to harp on this one with the hope that it doesn’t bite you in the rear.
Tuck 50 bucks in a “don’t ever touch this” location at least, and I’ll feel better. :-)
A long time ago you posted a vid of Ben that was so cute I had to play it for PD. Since then, any time I’ve brought up your name and PD would say “Who?” I would say, “Ben’s dad” and he would say “Ben WHO?” and I would say “Ben, (the little boy) who says, ’say-a-vihn’” (for the number 7) and THEN PD would say, “Oh, that guy.”
So Ben has always talked with a fake drawl then? ;-)
How was that for a run-on sentence up there?
Amy - Red Straw is tons of fun. Blue Straw is the more straight-laced guy who keeps him from getting into trouble.
Charles - Oh, yes, I know northerners would know my origins if I talked for more than a few sentences. You just can’t maintain neutrality forever, especially if you get excited or perturbed.
And, yes, the run-on was for effect to stress the frustration of things just piling up one after the other. Good call.
I knew the minute I posted this that I would get a comment about keeping cash on me — from Dave if not from you. And that advice doesn’t bother me at all. We have little stashes but I don’t always take it with me on a quick run to a store.
One Wink - I probably will go nuts trying to think of the video you’re referencing. Hmm… maybe he was counting? I don’t know. But, to answer your question, yes, he does put on a fake accent often. Not saying he did that time, but just sayin’.
Hehehe…I was being incredibly sacastic. I love that you can tell that even though you can’t hear me saying it! And BTW, I am good at those sentences as well! ;)
And I cant spell…..saRcastic! Sorry.