To Pee or Not to Pee (in public)
Posted in Culture & Society, Outdoors, Technology on Sep 26th, 2007
Man in the Know: Dang, we shut that place down! That bartender never knew what hit him.
He Who is Clueless: Well, I know what just hit me. I gotta take a leak. You think he’ll let me back in?
MITK: Dude, don’t even ask. Haven’t you heard about the Urilift?
HWIC: The you’re a what?
MITK: The Urilift. Come around this next street corner with me, to the plaza, and I’ll show you.
HWIC: I only know you from work. I’m not going around there with you… at night… alone.
MITK: Trust me. Your bladder will feel gladder.
HWIC: My eyeballs are starting to float. But, does this entail my pulling down my pants at any point?
MITK: You’ll just have to trust me. Come on!
30 Seconds Later
HWIC: What the hell is that metallic cylinder sticking up out of the sidewalk?
MITK: I think you can tell. Go on, try it.
HWIC: I, um. I’ll just go over here to the alley.
MITK: That’s how people get killed. Or worse, you could be mugged. Now, step on up and whip it out.
HWIC: Do not say, “Whip it out.” That’s not helping anything. Just, give me some space. No, a little more. Thanks.
MITK: How does that feel, big guy?
HWIC: Don’t talk to me like that. In fact, don’t talk to me while I’m peeing. Ever.
MITK: You didn’t answer my question.
HWIC: I feel like I just pissed in the street, but somehow the fact that it’s state-sanctioned takes all the fun out of it.
MITK: Yes, but it’s European. Get it, “You’re a-peein’?”
HWIC: You’re a-freakin’ me out. Don’t talk to me in the office again. Ever.
Yes, folks there is a device that allows public urination. Encourages it, even. And it’s in place in several European cities.
I can’t believe I’m so far behind on this, but I can believe the claim that the first North American installation was (or will be) in Victoria, British Columbia (Canada). Before I get flamed, I’ll just say that our neighbors to the north aren’t quite as hung up on Puritanical attitudes toward nudity. Of course, one could argue there’s a difference between showing some skin and taking a whiz. Good or bad, there it is. If there are any forces of good in the universe, they will forgive me for leaving that rhyme in place.
The Urilift hides below the streets during the day, then hydraulically rises to stand above ground like a silver beacon to males with full bladders. I say “males” because this isn’t about the Urigienic, which has doors and therefore is much less fun to lampoon. Besides, females with proper skills can utilize the Urilift. Maybe it’s just a matter of education, but I understand there will be those unwilling to knuckle under to the pressure (I think the How-To said something about knuckles under something).
Too many Americans have hangups about this to allow it to flourish. Is that a tasteful word to use in this situation? Probably not.
Emptying the unit must be a breeze. As soon as it’s lowered, it just flips open its bottom and lets loose into the sewers below. Or, so I’m guessing.
I can see this opening up opportunities for other applications. Just what else could we have popping up out of the streets?
Healthmatic, maker of Urilift (click on Toilet Information at the top to find the Urilift or the Urigienic):
http://www.healthmatic.com/
Pictures of the Urilift in action and fully extended (NOTE: I removed the hotlink to the site below because of the number of pop-ups the page generates with certain browser security settings, one of them being a fake warning that your computer has been infected with malware, which then tries to install a trial version of anti-spyware):
http://www.uberreview.com/2006/11/urilift-high-tech-urinal.htm
For more fun, do a Google Images search for Urilift.
Now that is WAY too weird… *ROTFL*
Where did you find this?
Dave -
I can’t remember how I found out about the Urilift.I found out about it on my Page-A-Day Calendar on Wednesday. It’s such old news (November 2006 was the date on most of the tech blogs reporting on it) that Imust have searched for an unrelated term that appeared on one of those pagescan’t believe I hadn’t heard of it before then.I, uh, may have peed in an alley or two in my day, so something like this would get proper use without any hangups in my neck of the woods.
And, I tried to focus on one or two of your horrible turns of phrase to make mention of here in the comments, but I found myself eventually overwhelmed and can only sit back and gape vacantly at your ability to whip them out with such apparent ease.
Wouldn’t it be cool if, when you approached a urilift to use it, it sensed your approach and started playing Devo? That would be cool! Sort of like ambiguous instructions on how to use the facility:
now whip it.
into shape.
shape it up.
get straight.
go forward.
move ahead.
try to detect it.
it’s not too late.
to whip it.
whip it good.
That is wonderful. Having lived as a resident through a Mardi Gras and delt with the urine soaked front door on more than one occasion…I say this is great. It provides plenty enough privacy for a drunkard..and it just looks cool raising from the street. It’s like peeing on the Enterprise. Wee!
I knew that “public urination” in one form or another is common practice in some foreign countries. I can’t decide if favoring it is uncivilized or if not being in favor of it is puritanical. I guess you could just say I’m up in the air about it. Not that being for or against it is even an issue. I seriously can’t imagine using one of these things. It could just be the gender thing, I’m sure. Although the “ladies” in Japan just squat wherever. . .
I think I would pee myself before I’d be comfortable doing that. In parts of China, the public restrooms just have a hole in the floor. Not comfortable with that either. And little kids just drop their loads out the holes in the back of their pants.
This was so funny I nearly peed in my pants.
It’s too bad Mystery Science Theater 3000 isn’t still around. That video in the second link would be a fantastic addition to the show.
I would love this! I pee in public all the time, and I would make proper useage of a device like this!! lol I have been almost arrested for pissing in public, so I am all for it. I think it would be funny to see people just pissing in the middle of the street like that too…