Jun 30 2007
Things That Don’t Talk
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On the way back from the mechanic just this morning:
Ben: Things that don’t talk don’t have names.
Me: Really? Cassie doesn’t talk, but she has a name.
(Pause)
Ben: Some things that have a mouth don’t talk.
Me: That’s true.
Ben: (Points to a Walgreen’s) See that building? It doesn’t talk.
This is another of those forays into logic that has me at once proud and a little bewildered. I just love that he thinks so much.
Now, if we could just get him to understand when it is and is not okay to ask, “Why?” I’m all for questions, but after only a week, it’s starting to get old. We’re finding ourselves saying, “Because I said so,” and we wince every time.
“Why?”
“Because that’s the way God made it 6,000 years ago, Son. And if you question the Lord’s ways too much, he’ll grow angry and exact his vengeance by taking Mommy away from you. You don’t want Mommy to go away forever do you?”
“No, Daddy!”
“Good. Now stop asking so many questions and listen to everything Mommy and I tell you to do. Hopefully it’s not too late to save Mommy.”
*****
At least, that’s how I plan to handle it.
Hey, and if it doesn’t work, at least that gives me a good out. I can run away and never have to hear the word “why?” again! I mean, I would have to leave in order to follow through with what we told him, right? Thanks, Simon.
Lord help you and Shannon at this point… Here’s something to try, but I’m sure you’ve already thought of it. It will still keep him thinking, which is a good thing, but might take some of the pressure off you (and your frayed nerves…) Say to him, “why do you think that is, Ben?” Sometimes they get bored with hearing their own voice and will just trail off or move on to something else. Sometimes it’s to an even easier question… Sometimes not.
My worst ever inquiry (from JuJu, actually) was why the sky was blue… I don’t recall my answer, it was so long ago. But that’s something that, to this day, I do not know. Maybe someday when it really concerns me, I’ll bother to find out. Right now I’m more concerned with where June went.
Simon - Sounds perfect.
Shannon - Can I pick your new location? ;-)
Linda - Funny you should suggest that. We often turn things back on him when he asks questions. The frustration comes when it’s something we’ve told him many times, and have explained the reason repeatedly. I didn’t mention it above, but I’m mainly talking about discipline. We never wanted to be “because I said so” disciplinarians. We figured if the child knows the reason, then he or she has a better chance of practicing self-discipline.
In other situations, I love it when Ben asks why, and if I don’t know the answer, I just say, “I don’t know.”
Unlike Simon, who would totally make up something just to impress himself.
I think you meant to say, “…make up something just to AMUSE himself.”
Sorry I didn’t add anything earlier. I was having fond images of Ben’s constant “why”ing but couldn’t really think of much to add…not yet having a child who asks any questions…let alone “why?” However, now that it’s degenerated into wrath of God / Shanon running off type stuff (as I knew it would) I’m ready to belatedly join the fray.
I’d like to think I won’t be a “because I said so” type disciplinarian, but I can already image times, as you mention, that there just isn’t a better response, given their inability to grasp/internalize/remember the reason you’ve alreay given. basically, I’m trying really hard not to list things I’ll “never” do as a parent…cuz everyone I know who says those things ends up doing it anyway.
And Simon…while I have no doubt that you do in fact amuse yourself during your creative ramblings, you can’t lie to us…Mark’s wording was equally valid and you know it. It’s part of you charm ;)
Why?
Go ask your mother….
*ROTFL*
Simon - Well, that too.
So, you’re saying you wouldn’t impress yourself because you already expect great things from yourself?
MG - Don’t worry, your day will come, and I can only imagine it will be even more interesting with a girl.
Dave - Aha! Now we’re talkin’!
Or, you can always go with the modern answer that wasn’t available to our parents.
“Daddy, how do Chameleons change colors?”
“I’m not sure son. We’ll have to look that up on the internet later.”
And no…he doesn’t forget. I may or may not get the exact answer, but there’s usually enough pictures to at least distract him.
I like the new banner. :-)
Charles - I hadn’t thought of that.
Cool.
Ooh… I like that one!
Also, congratulations on 4! My oldest didn’t start with the endless “why” until closer to 5 (and still, she’s not logical enough to follow through most of the time).
sheik - Thanks for stopping by. Always good to see another fellow CBB reader over here.