Dec 28 2006
Motel, Rations, and Ralphie
(This continues the story started here.)
Previously on “The Christmas Misadventure,” we stopped on our way home Christmas Eve due to the van’s sketchy handling in heavy rain.
Now, we resume our story.
I stopped at the Bostonian Inn and the Tex Inn. The latter looked more expensive, what with its fresher paint, but a banner hanging out front proclaimed, “Free Wireless Internet.” My computer-logged brain thought this was important, so I parked and walked to the check-in window.
“Now, that room has an ashtray, right?” said a customer ahead of me. “Okay, good.” She signed a form and pushed it down into the curved metallic tray under the window. A dark brown hand retrieved it.
The woman turned to me. She was in her mid-50’s, I guessed. She had long brown hair, probably dyed to stay the color of its youth. Deep wrinkles creased her face. “Whoo, it’s getting cold. We’re going to get snow in Georgia. That’s where we’re headed.”
“Oh yeah? Whereabouts in Georgia?” I said. I knew absolutely nothing about Georgia’s geography, except that Atlanta’s not near the coast.
“Covington. On the other side of Atlanta. So where are you coming from and going to?”
“We just came from central Arkansas. Headed to the Dallas area.”
“My husband comes from Simms, Texas. Been married to him six years. I adore him. I tell him everyday he’s my angel sent from Heaven.”
But you just said he was from Simms.
How does one respond to that? I wasn’t sure, so I just said something I figured was nice. “That’s great. Merry Christmas.”
Back at the Bostonian parking lot (hey, it was $15 cheaper), Ben needed to go potty, and we had neither checked in nor eaten. The golden arches hailed us from across the street, so away we went. If only I’d known for sure that we wanted to get food there.
At 7:50 p.m., I found the door locked. A sign on it said they would close at 8:00 that night. When an employee followed a family to the door to let them out, Ben and I dashed through the opening and completed our mission.
Back in the van a few minutes later, I got everybody’s order and headed back to McDonald’s. At 7:55, the doors were locked. I knocked without getting an answer, but I was pretty sure some of the employees behind the counter saw me. I walked over and banged hard on the large plate-glass window. That time they looked right at me and one of them started walking my direction. I scampered back to the door, expecting to be let in for my order, but somehow knowing I would not.
“We’re closed,” Jane Q. teenager told me through the door.
I pointed at the sign. “Says here not until eight. Come on, we need to get something to eat.” The rain continued pelting my head and splattering my glasses.
“We’ve already closed out the registers, so we wouldn’t be able to take your order anyway.”
“Do you know of any other place in town that’s still open?”
“No, we’re the last ones.”
Dejected, I walked back to the van and announced no burgers for us. I got behind the wheel and we quickly found a Sonic still lighting up the dark, dreary night. We struck out there and at Dairy Queen.
I took us to the convenience store across from the Tex Inn and went in to pick out our supper. Ben got a Clif Bar because it at least had protein, and Shannon got Pringles. I still had a sandwich made of leftover slow-roasted pork butt waiting for me. Shannon had eaten her leftover roast beef sandwich not long after I scarfed down the heat-lamped corndogs.
“So, are you open tomorrow?” I asked the lady behind the counter.
“Yep. We’re the only ones open on Christmas day,” she said with a roll of her eyes.
“Well, where my wife works is open,” a customer chimed in.
“Where’s that?” asked the clerk.
“Mena, Arkansas.” Mayna, Awrkansaw.
How, exactly, does that affect the lady behind this counter, right here, at this store, nearly 100 miles from Mena? Some people will insert a loosely relevant comment just to hear their own voice. (but if you don’t stop, I won’t.) I then wondered what brought him that far from her on Christmas Eve. Is he a trucker? A salesman? As much I enjoy making up a backstory for all the characters I meet, I had to get back to my own family and finish out our current “drama in real life.”
We got checked in and Ben unpacked a few of his new toys. His loud Imaginext dragon lit up the walls with its simulated firebreathing antics. He didn’t care where we were. He had his toys and his mommy and daddy.
One of Ted Turner’s stations was showing “24 Hours of A Christmas Story,” and we happened to catch a run that started at 8:00. Shannon and I laughed; Ben watched with a zombie stare. Although we own the classic Christmas movie on DVD, I hadn’t planned on showing it to him yet. Because we were there to narrate the sections questionable for a child his age (shooting a gun at people), it didn’t seem so bad. He laughed when Ralphie’s little brother ate like a piglet at the dinner table. His attention wandered only during commercials, which I’m sure offended his new toys.
I poured some of Cassie’s food into a gift box lid. She didn’t seem to mind as she crunched the nuggets of by-products. We used the room’s ice bucket as her water bowl.
Besides Shannon’s snapping of a pic here and there, the remainder of the evening went as I described in the opening paragraphs.
“It doesn’t matter, as long as we’re all together,” Shannon said. “It’s our little Christmas adventure.”
She meant that shit.
The next morning, Ben woke me at 3:15, 6:30, and finally 8:00 a.m., with various pokes and prods. Enjoying our first morning with just our little family in quite some time, we leapt into slow action and got us all bathed, primped, and packed for a 10:30 departure. We explained to Ben that we were sure Santa had come down our chimney to deliver presents. Said gifts would just have to wait a little longer for Ben to unwrap them.
The light rain let up by noon to reveal a sunny, cold day, and the drive went without incident.
We pulled the rest off with hoodwinkery that still makes me proud.
(to be continued)
Wow… the rain was THAT bad huh??
Would you have continued on if had better front tires?
Can’t wait to see what happens when you get home… *S*
The weary travelers turned away from the McDonald’s on Christmas Eve? That’s harsh…but there is a bit of symmetry to it that makes it sadly beautiful.
The first time I saw A Christmas Story was in a motel room somewhere between Missouri and Florida on our way to a Disney Christmas. Every time I’ve seen it since has reminded me of the excitement of that trip. It was probably a dingy motel and my parents’ experience was probably not as wonderful as mine…but such is the wonder of the childhood recollection. If Ben remembers this trip later, he’ll probably remember sitting with you and watching a funny movie.
Sorry if this comment was only loosely relevant…it seems that I just to hear their own voice. But we already knew that ;)
Dave - Well, the rain and the newly-paved asphalt on I-30, plus front tires that didn’t look all that great.
Moksha-na-na - Yeah, it was a good thing and a bad thing. We don’t usually eat at McDonald’s, but if nothing else, it’s dependable and almost anywhere you need it.
So you first watched ACS in a motel room, too? That’s funny. Maybe Ben will remember it. I don’t know what else would stick in his memory from that night. We were fortunate that it was as uneventful as it was.
My very first time tasting onion rings was while watching “The Blob” and, while I seldom talk just to hear my voice, I often type just to read what I wrote.
And I’m slowly drifting back into La-la mode in case there was any suspection.
Though set in Indiana, A Christmas Story was filmed in Cleveland. Watching it reminds me when as a kid our family would go downtown to watch the parade which went past Higbees just like in the movie. A guy recently bought and refurbished the house including the leg lamp in the window. They have tours of the house year round. You can read about it here:
http://cleveland.about.com/od/clevelandattractions/p/xmasstoryhouse.htm
Linda - Nice to see you again. I didn’t like onion rings until about six or seven years ago, and now I only like the best. The “Awesome Blossom” or the “Bloomin’ Onion” usually are my favorites, although the “Towering Onion Rings” (in descending size) at Red Robin win for presentation.
Blitzen - I love that everybody has a personal story about that wonderful movie. Thanks for the link, too! Shannon and I just got a kick out of perusing the products offered on one of the linked sites. Hilarious.
You gotta get new tires on that van. We had the same issue with ours. I even went so far as to make sure that I was buying the best wet weather tires available. Even with all of that, it is the worst handling vehicle on wet pavement that I’ve ever ridden in. It’s MUCH better than it was, but still lacking badly.
I had heard that Christmas Story was going to be on 24 hours on some station. That’s great. I love that movie. I just saw a T-shirt at Kohl’s awhile back that had the kid’s face just before he stuck his tonge on the light post, and it said, “I double dog dare you” on it. Funny stuff.
I went back to see if Target had any of those “Regift Responsibly” T-shirts like A had at X-mas…and all they had left were smalls. Dangit.