Dec 19 2006
Nuts about Krack
I usually make it through social events without saying something inappropriate or embarrassing. When I do utter words I wish I could take back, it’s nothing worse than the average person who’s had a few drinks. Difference with me is, I say whatever goofy thing’s on my mind without having a drop.
This time it was more of an accidental play on words. One that I kind of wish I had made up on purpose, really.
In my wife’s circle of friends (and, increasingly, mine), there’s a homemade snack so addictive, we all call it krack (I chose that spelling). That old advertising slogan, “Nobody can eat just one,” is given new life, because just a little of it never satisfies. As soon as its sweet-buttery-salty-gooey-crunchy goodness washes over one’s palette, the mind instantly thinks, “must consume mass quantities.”
At a party with the tattoo ladies and their husbands Saturday night, there was krack available, and everybody partook. The perfect blend of Ritz Chips, pecans, Karo syrup, butter, and C knows what else is undeniably the most popular snack food I’ve seen. Not the most widespread, mind you, but where it appears, it immediately surpasses all other snacks as the must-have food item.
Once you have krack, you never go back.
My wife brought a baked item that she has made before, but in her rush to finish it before the party, it didn’t turn out quite as well as in the past. It’s a base of brownies, with a green layer (peppermint oil, powdered sugar, butter, and green food coloring) on top, and then a thin layer of almond bark poured over that.
There was one thing I forgot was in there.
I took a bite. “Oh, this has nuts in it. That’s too bad.” For me, brownies, cakes, and fudge are better without them.
Others apparently liked the nuts, and said as much. I was the outcast. Later, the topic somehow came up again.
“No, I just don’t like the way they taste,” I said. “Now, I like nuts in my krack.”
*very, very brief silence*
Laughter.
I didn’t live that one down the rest of the evening.
More recently, I tried a heart-stopping (in more ways than one) dip made by T. Shannon and I hovered over the leftovers like vultures, battling for strategic Tostito position. I don’t know exactly what’s in it, but Shannon mentioned things like cream cheese, Ranch dressing, diced black olives, whole kernel corn, bell pepper, and green chiles.
All I know for sure is it tastes way too good to this man who lasted exactly six weeks on a strict schedule of cardiovascular exercise.
I’ve dubbed it, simply, smak.
If there’s any silver lining in T’s impending move way out west, it’s that she’ll take smak with her, and I will live longer.
But nobody better lay a hand on my krack.
I see we share a sentiment when it comes to nuts and dessert. They, as a general rule, do not belong together. Nuts in cake and brownies is strictly verboten in my books. There *are* exceptions, of course. Krack, apparently, being one. On my end it’s my stepmum’s almond bark. Yum! And of course there are the treats where nuts are the feature, as in chocolate covered almonds. Those too are acceptable.
In close circles, when asked, another inappropriate place for nuts is one’s chin. And Mark, I will never lay a hand on your krack. Promise.
I too, love nuts by themselves, but never in food (other than carrot cake), especially brownies, and most definitely NEVER IN MY COFFEE!
What is it with people putting nut flavors in coffee? Ewwww.
Also, how on earth could you tell us of something so decadent, and NOT give us the recipe (for Krack or Smak)???? Especially during the holiday season when everyone shares recipes!
I bet Shan would give me the recipes if I asked her….
Simon - Inappropriate for me, that’s for sure.
When nuts are the main attraction, yes, they’re great. I even started enjoying peanut M&M’s a few years ago, but I’ll never like Cracker Jack.
Simon and Dave - Glad to see you guys are with me on the nuts thing.
I think we have the recipe for at least one of these treats. I’ll post what we have, if Shannon doesn’t beat me to it.
It seems we are all in agreement….nuttin’ like nuts to ruin a dessert. It’s just a texture thing…some things just shouldn’t crunch, and brownies are one of them. Now if I can just convince my family of this obvious rule
Nuts in your crack…can’t be good. Funny to hear stated though, I’m sure.
I’m with you on the nut thing for the most part. You did mention a really strong exception though, and that is peanut M&M’s. Dem’s is real good.
But…nuts in fudge or brownies? No way. Why combine bitter with sweet, or crunchy with creamy texture? Too confusing for my taste buds.
Well..wait, I love pecan pie. Does that count?
OK…nevermind, apparently there are quite a few desserts that I do like nuts in, but it isn’t brownies or fudge. I’ll just leave it at that.
I like nuts in just about everything; in brownies, chicken salad, fudge, oatmeal. If I had smak or Krack, I’d want them there too. Nuts are good for you. I am trying so hard to restrain myself, I’m afraid I’ll go nuts. I have to get out of here before I say something to damage my virtuous reputation.
Moksha - It’s very much about texture with me. Flavor in a lot of cases, but mostly that incongruous crunch.
Charles - I discovered just a few years ago that I like pecan pie, so it’s an exception. I must say, too, that pecans are a softer nut, and far superior to some of what’s found in other desserts. I think it’s their texture that allows me to give them a pass in many cases.
Linda - You’re nutty, alright. Virtuous? Meh… I don’t know.
When did y’all ever make this stuff? It must have been after college because I do not remember seeing anything like this at our parties in college.
Mark, shut up.