Oct 19 2006
Cynthia Carter
Human beings are astoundingly resilient, but the things we fill our world with make us frail.
I’m not one to post news items very much, but something happened Wednesday that moved my wife and me.
It started with my drive into work. I took one of my two routes, and where there are usually a moderate number of cars, I was met by standstill traffic and long lines at intersections. My 25-minute drive to work turned into 48 minutes. Needless to say, I was tardy.
After I’d been at work a while, a co-worker said that he had heard about a fatal wreck that shut down a major highway used by commuters headed to Dallas. I don’t drive into the city, but the route I take could be used as an alternate path for those who do. That explained my long wait.
I was glad I was safe and that my workplace didn’t get up in arms about the occasional late arrival. I also thought of how sad it was that the crash victim would never drive to work or anywhere else again.
At home, Shannon told me that as she and Ben headed across town that afternoon, she saw a horribly smashed and burned lump that resembled a car. Her heart sank because she knew there was no way anyone in that car survived. On the five o’clock news, the reporters said that the driver was 33 — Shannon’s age — and had three children.
The good news is that the children were not in the car at the time. Sadly, they no longer have a mother. She left behind them and a loving, brokenhearted husband who said, “She was simple. She went to work, she worked hard, she came home and she took care of us.”
She was not a celebrity, so her death will not be mourned by millions. She was a working mother on her way to her job, at an intersection I drive through on most of my morning commutes. A sand truck struck her car and dragged it 150 yards, where it burst into flame.
The Dallas Morning News posted a story online the day of the accident.
- Read all of this to really get a feel for who she was and how much her family loved her. I almost held it together as I read Amani Carter’s words about his wife. (As a former journalist, this makes me glad I worked for a newspaper and not for television. Worth noting, however, is that TV reporters contributed to this story.)
A local television station showed the car on the tow truck, just as Shannon saw it.
The Carters would have celebrated their 15th anniversary in August — the same month Shannon and I will celebrate ours. This story hits home on too many levels. I have no idea whether Cynthia Carter could have done anything to prevent this accident, and I would never deign to suggest it. However, I did implore Shannon to always look to the sides before trusting a greenlight.
Then I hugged her as she cried.
I can’t imagine what Amani Carter must be going through right now. Our hearts go out to him and his family.
I was (and still am) so haunted by this story, especially after seeing the remains of the car and then learning that she is my exact age and had been married the same month and year as us. It’s just heartbreaking.
Strange how something so far away can be brought home so staggeringly.
Wife - Sometimes I worry that driving defensively isn’t enough. But, what’s our alternative? Turning luddite, I guess. Or, Ahmish anyway.
Simon - Yes, indeed.
Once, travelling on the Beltway into Washington DC, a little red car passed us on the left. It appeared to be a black family of parents and three small children in the back. They were so cute, we waved and they waved back. I don’t know if you’ve ever driven/ridden that piece of highway but it is horrific- the amount of traffic, lanes and speeds. Sometime later we passed the accident which had left us sitting in an unmoving line of traffic for miles and for quite sometime. There was that little red car on it’s roof off at the edge of the road. I didn’t look, didn’t want to know…
Let’s all be safe tomorrow and everyday after :-)
Linda - That must have been awful. We’ve been on the beltway quite a bit. We lived in northern Virginia for about eight months (no, it was not for a clandestine pregnancy).
Let’s all “be careful out there.”
When there’s a senseless death like this… I often think….
“God must have needed her in heaven to take care of some of the children there, knowing what a wonderful mother she is”…..
It’s the only way it can make any sense to me…
Dave,
What a lovely sentiment. I think your thinking is right on the money. Let’s go with that.
Dave - What Linda said.
Linda - What you said.
Wheww…I always hate to hear stories like that. As you know I drive close to 60K miles a year, so I drive as defensively as possible, because the percentages are always working against me. I see accidents all of the time, and it’s a constant reminder that every day really is special.
Not long ago I was about to pull out of an intersection onto a highway. I looked both ways, and was only going to turn right into one lane. I looked left, right, and then left gain, which was really the only lane I was turning into. Then at the last second, I took a second look to the right and some BONEHEAD was pulling out to pass on the double yellow line. I have no idea why I looked again, because it wasn’t the lane I was turning into, but it was a harrowing experience. I would have turned head-on into a pickup truck going between 60 and 70 mph. I shuddered for a few miles wondering what in the world made me look a second time at traffic that shouldn’t have even affected me.
I get cheesy “treasure each day” e-mails pretty frequently, and I usually read a sentence or two and delete them. But, the harsh reality is that we really don’t know when our time is up, and we should treasure each day.
Charles - That’s a scary example. 60k a year? Sounds good as a salary, but not as a mileage driven.
I’m treasuring each day more and more, especially with Ben growing up so fast (sure seemed slow while we were waiting for him to a) walk, and b) talk.
Hey guys,
I just happened across this. Ive known Cynthia for the past 3 years. I was her mentor teacher and helped her through her first year. She was a one of kind person. She was always smiling and a constant joy to be around. She loved her family dearly and had an amazing husband to boot. I keep thinking about the happy times we shared. When we would go out to dinner we would blare up the music and dance. She was a cool person that everyone loved to be around. We teased her because she was always chewing on ice and wearing a sweater because she was cold. I miss her and I hope she is smiling her beautiful smile down from heaven!
Celeste - Thanks so much for commenting. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.
It sounds like if anyone made it to Heaven, Cynthia certainly did.
Powerful words, and an excellent tribute Celeste. I’m sure my brother is going to say the same, only more eloqently.
It’s great that you took the time to make your comment, and I wish you all of the best while trying to cope with your unfortunate loss.
I’ve known Cynthia and her family forever. her mother is also an angel and opened her home to us for bible studies in the 80’s. we all attended the same great church when she and her wonderful(GIFT FROM GOD) husband met. knowing her and alot of others is an example of “ENTERTAINING ANGELS UNAWARE”"” i often think of her when i run across an old picture, and even when i’m having my quiet time in an area of my home, that she and my two daughters spent alot of time in as teenagers.. i have so many fond memories . and just running across this site makes me believe, she still reaches out to us in the spirit….REST IN PEACE OUR SWEET CYTH ….WE LOVE YOU ,AMANI AND THE CHILDREN…………………………………..KISS KISS KISS
GOD IS SO GOOD ALL THE TIME
jean - Thanks so much for contributing. Now that Amani is in the news again for his lawsuit for negligence, I hope that Cynthia’s case helps to raise awareness and makes everybody safer. It doesn’t bring her back at all, and I’m sure that’s the only thing that could truly make Amani happy in all this.