Sep 27 2006
First Wine Tasting
I like to write about firsts. Because my wife and I got married young (19 and 21, respectively), we’ve experienced many firsts together (no, not that one). Tuesday night, we went to a wine tasting dinner. It was an altering experience for me.
Neither of us is a wine connoisseur, and there are very few wines I like. That stems in large part from a lifelong love for sweet drinks. I still sweeten tea and coffee. If a wine is sweet enough for my usual taste, then it generally has a name like Arbor Mist or Boone’s Farm. Or, if you’re feeling Sanfordy, ripple.
Note another distinctive aspect of the Arbor Mists and others of their ilk: they contain about half the alcohol of a “real” wine, if that much. This becomes pivotal later in this story.
When high fructose corn syrup is on a beverage’s ingredient list right alongside wine and water, then it isn’t really wine. We might as well mix up our favorite Kool-Aid flavor and add a little Merlot, white zinfandel, or cabernet.
No, Arbor Mist still would be cheaper.
Most red wines I’ve tried, some supposedly good wines, smelled of vinegar and tasted like, well, sour ass. The white wines didn’t fare much better. I found this especially true with wines called “dry.” Almost everything I liked was called a “dessert” wine, whatever that means (goes well with dessert?).
The event was held at a locally-owned Italian restaurant, where my father-in-law takes cooking lessons that have resulted in some incredible dishes from his kitchen. Yes, it’s his kitchen. My mother-in-law cooks well, but even she would concede this point.
So, while I was shaky about the wine, I was confident we were in for some delicious food. Shaky. Wine. Interesting use of both those words in one sentence… But, I digress.
I took notes during the three-hour plus event, so I could record my gut reactions to the wines and the food. So without further ado, here they are.
Hogue 2004 Chardonnay. Columbia Valley, Washington. Very good. Slightly fruity and sweet. Pear-glazed salmon on a crunchy baguette. The baguette added a nice effect, even though I’m not crazy about salmon. I had seconds of the wine.
Nobilo 2004 Icon Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc. Marlborough, New Zealand. Strong citrus flavor. Grapefruit? Served with orange and orange sections with roma tomato and a light, sweet dressing. Good marriage of the wine and the food. Showed us pics of the winery in New Zealand and the beach and the mountains. Gorgeous. I’m lightheaded at this point, so I didn’t get more of this one. They offered us pour buckets, but my mother-in-law generously agreed to drink anything I didn’t want.
Blackstone 2003 Sonoma County Zinfandel. Sonoma County, California. Rich. Not as sour as other reds. Bouquet was pleasant, unlike most reds I smell. Usually they turn me off immediately. Pork tenderloin with a cheese sauce. The dish didn’t help the wine a lot, but the wine was okay. I really should not drive at this point. I’m having a little trouble getting this delicious pork into my mouth. Not sure I could stand.
My wife is rambling on about Arkansas Governor’s School and that it’s not brainwashing. Father-in-law’s boss is talking about something, but I can’t understand with all the noise. Wife prattling about baby chickens and the Holocaust. Some kid got in the fetal position and started screaming. In Governor’s School, not at the tasting. There, I just changed pens. Now Shannon and her mom are talking about the two other times I’ve been drunk.
HRM Rex-Goliath 2005 Pinot Noir. California’s central coast vineyards. Lady said the closest living relative to a t-rex is a chicken. Father-in-law’s boss collects wine labels. Served with not spinach (deadly), but with greens. Boss said looks like seaweed. Greens on penne — damn good. Wine — indifferent. I called my wife a slod. Father-in-law’s boss waited tables when he was younger.
Blackstone Reserve 2002 Dry Creek Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. Sonoma County, California. Lady said we will not find it anywhere right now. Served with grilled angus beef. I loved the beef, but didn’t care for the wine. Not sure my sentences are clear right now. The wine lady is hot.
I just walked to the men’s room. Very buzzed. I looked like myself in the mirror, which was surprising, because I don’t feel like myself at all.
Hardys Sparkling Shiraz NV. Australia. Very good! Wife is reading Surgeon General’s warning out loud. Someone mentioned that we have flutes for this wine. My wife said, “I used to play the flute,” and started acting like she was playing the flute. Served with fresh chocolate cake with berry sauce.
That was it. I drank at least one glass of wine for every course of the meal, and a few times I had two. I only got a couple sips of the last one because I needed to sober up. The capuccino was delicious even though I didn’t sweeten it. Must have been my drunken state.
I sobered up as we chatted, and then we picked up a sleeping Ben from Alvis’ house and headed home. I would love to do it again.
What is a “slod” anyway, honey? Not sure how offended I should be on that one.
Thank you for concentrating on your drunken state and not focusing on mine (which was much more intense and longer lasting - no more details needed). However, it may have been implied when you described some of my behavior (like reading the Surgeon General’s warning, pretending to play the flute - did I really do that?). And many thanks to Mom & Paul for sponsoring our drunk-asses for such a nice event.
This sounds awesome. Mark-dude, I expect two things in the near future. 1. An invite to a dinner hosted by your Father-in-law. 2. The next time we get togther, not Saturday, your wife must play the flute. If she does not have a flute, one will be provided for her or she can just pretend. Oh, and wine will be present.
Josh - I ain’t drinkin’ any wine again anytime soon - I had enough Tuesday night to hold me over for quite a while. Sorry to disappoint.
Mark - I’m not sure I would say that you have ever actually been “drunk” - tipsy is probably the more appropriate word. Believe me, I know drunk.
I guess I should have warned you, or maybe educated you about the wine tastinsg bud *chuckle*
For the most part, if you’ve never been to a wine tasting before, there’s a method to them. Did anyone explain the “4 S’s” of wine tasting?
It’s meant to be sipped, not drunk normally as you would at a normal dinner.
Also, for each change of food, the food should actually change the taste of the wine (if the food/wine pairing was done correctly).
Either way, I hope you do it again, without drinkg as much as this time.
Wife - I figured respectful omission was the best approach. ;-)
If drunk means having a hangover the next day, then I guess I wasn’t drunk. Sure felt out of control, though (which is why I don’t like getting intoxicated).
Josh - I think no. 1 is do-able, but as you can tell from Shan’s comment, no. 2 is iffy.
Dave - Yeah, the wine lady (think milf, but not gilf) offered those pour buckets, which obviously I should have accepted. On the movie Sideways they have a spit bucket. Maybe that should have been my approach.
I made a point to try each wine before taking a bite, and then after, and the food definitely made a difference. It didn’t help it much on some, though, as my notes indicate.
Yes, but just because they give you even a half glass of wine, doesn’t mean you have to drink it all! *LOL*
I seldom use a spit bucket, but usually don’t drink the whole glass unless it’s outstanding.
That was hilarious! I’m so jealous - would have LOVED to have been able to participate in your wine tasting experience! I miss wine….and margaritas…and beer….
Getting drunk and talking of flutes makes me think inevitably of references to band camp from the movie, American Pie. Sorry.
I’m very glad you didn’t use a spit bucket or some such thing. It made for a much more interesting post. And I, too, am curious what a ’slod’ is.
My own wife, bless her, loves the cheap wine. The cheaper and fizzier it is, the more she loves it.
Congrats for getting married so young and still being together! That may not sound quite right, but you must be the exception to that sort of practice.
Dave - I think I was just shocked I actually liked any of them.
Jess - It would have been fine to have you along, but of course not up to us. Don’t worry, once you are able to again responsibly partake, we’ll make you a blender full of whatever you like.
Simon - Can’t believe AP didn’t pop into my head, too.
We’ve seen too many of our friends’ and family’s marriages fall apart over the years. In some cases, though, it’s those who got married later who can’t handle it, because they can’t make the adjustment from their formerly self-centered lives. I see advantages and disadvantages to both. We could have avoided some hardships and time served in a trailer park had we waited to get married, but we might not have stayed together.
Maybe Shannon could play your flute?
Stop me, I can’t help myself. :)
Simon, it sounds like your wife and I should get together & drink! Does she like Arbor Mist, by chance?
P.S. Shame on you, Alvis!!!
LOL…Alvis, I knew I could count on you. Mark, can you honestly say that you weren’t thinking “This one time at band camp” when she was discussing the flute at the wine tasting? Man, I thought I knew you better than that. :-)
It sounded like you had a great time. I’m a big fan of the Pinot Noir’s, and if I’m going to drink wine at a restaurant, that’s usually what I like.
Charles - Any time someone says, “This one time…” I think of that. I have to keep from saying anything out loud.
The Pinot Noir definitely was one of my favorites.