Jul 30 2006
Benglish 2
(continue reading “Falcon” on my other blog)
Figure 1 - Ben’s Arkansas Razorback Chair
Ben often makes up conversations between his toys, and sometimes he talks directly to them. Even something as simple as a chair (detail, Figure 1) purchased at a craft fair is not immune. My wife wrote down this one.
“Do you hear me, Razorback pig? You woke me up.”
(brief silence)
“You have some letters behind your head, Razorback pig.”
(brief silence)
“Okay, goodnight.”
Now, if the chair said anything during those short breaks in the conversation, then it used that special frequency that only kids can hear.
There was a show (and a remake) called “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” A lot of it seemed scripted to me, but now that I’ve been a dad for a little over three years, I’m re-thinking my position. The problem now is, the quotes come at such a dizzying pace, we can’t keep up with them. Another challenge is my debilitating condition known as CRS, or, to be family friendly, Can’t Remember Stuff. I jump up and run to the refrigerator notepad to immortalize the quotes, but the context completely escapes my brain.
For instance, the first quote came from a conversation between Ben and me, and I can’t remember the context. I just know that he and I were discussing something his grammy had told him.
“Your grammy had it right on the money, buddy,” I said.
“No, I’m not a money-buddy, I’m just a boy,” Ben replied.
Later in the same conversation, as I sat in the recliner and Ben used me as a jungle gym (I’m not a Jungle Jim, I’m… nevermind), Ben found a bony spot beneath my shirt, between my neck and my shoulder.
“Daddy, your ankle is in your shirt.”
“That’s not my ankle. That’s my collarbone.”
“Daddy, your collarbone is in your shirt.”
If only I’d told him it was my Fetzer valve. Ah well, hindsight and all.
Not content to leave his notable quotes at that, Ben pulled out another one when he and his mommy sat on the barstools at our kitchen island. He was putting his feet up on the countertop, and Shannon told him to stop.
“How many times have we had this discussion?” she asked.
“30 minutes,” Ben said.
That’s all for now. Oh, except evidently some guitar players made an actual Fetzer valve.
*LOL* Love his “30 minutes” reply!
Yep, these are the days…. they go by so quickly bud. Enjoy them while you can.
We’re getting to the same spot with our eldest, only he’s completely unintelligible for the most part. Loves to read his books to himself… but we’ve no idea what he’s saying. If only it were possible to capture each of them somehow without a cam-corder strapped to your face.
Dave - We are cherishing as much as we can. I promise.
Simon - I know what you mean, Simon, which is why I’m sharing with you and everybody else this link (a bit pricey, but a neat product for exactly the situation you describe).
http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1759,1835671,00.asp
I have seen clips of “Kids Say The Darndest Things” with Art Linkletter and Bill Cosby’s remake. We may not want to admit that as kids we sometimes said some weird things and did some weird things. I have a story that reflects any English grammar mistake that I said as a child.
One day, something happened. Apparently, something good happened that I did. I do not remember what it was. Then, my parents said that I said, “I doned it!” Apparently, it was my attempt at giving the word “done” a forced past tense.
My Dad heard me and corrected my English by saying “I did it!”
Apparently, I must have felt that he was attempting to take credit for what I did. I responded, “No, you didn’t. I did!”
My Mom was nearby when she heard this. This moment must have been one of those that she could not forget especially since my Dad was a speech and English major.
Of course, they did not have show like “Kids Do the Darndest Things.” Apparently, this is where “America’s Funniest Home Videos” has filled that void.
Whatever you do, be careful what he does if he gets near the Christmas tree. My parents never imagined what I did at my Papaw and Grandma home in 1974. I knocked the tree over along with the front window curtains, sheers, and curtain rod. When I ran from the livingroom where the tree fell, my Grandma saw me running. She yelled for my Mom, “Come and see what YOUR KID has done.” My Grandma did not say her grandson. We later got over that crazy situation.