Jul 17 2006
Sim Potty Co
(the third installment of “Falcon” is all set for you over here)
I try not to be that guy who effuses sickening amounts of kid-related thoughts. Sometimes, though, they barrage relentlessly and I can’t contain them. I also just had to share about our latest date night, which was one part perfect, one part average, and one part fiasco. ‘Tis a twisty yarn, indeed.
We were half-assing the job of potty training Ben. He turned three earlier this month, passing our self-imposed deadline of putting this particular parental task behind us. With kids, deadlines are never a great idea, but some general timelines are. So, still hoping to at least stay within that more forgiving framework, we took action Saturday.
Shannon opened two types of underwear. One was the more traditional “whitey-tighty” brief like I wear, and the other a brief with a different fly design, sporting the friendlies from Finding Nemo. The latter did not work for anatomical reasons, so we went old-school. She also bought a pack of stickers bearing likenesses of characters from Cars.
Throughout the day, we continually asked Ben, “Do you need to go potty,” or, “Do you need to go pee-pee?” His usual answer was “No,” which was good, because nobody wants a kid to pee every five minutes. Yes, we were that bad.
Once, he soaked those undies real good. I took them off and told him he needed to sit on the potty, then I changed him into a dry pair. One down, five to go.
Upon returning to Ben’s room, I saw a huge puddle on his carpet. Yikes. So we had a little trickle-down effect, eh? Okay, fine, I know how to soak up spills. Handle it and go on.
A little later, after he ate, I noticed a little wetness “downstairs,” but not a soaking. I took Ben into the bathroom, where he promptly peed. I made a big deal out of it, clapping and saying, “Yea, way to go.” He reminded me that he gets a sticker for that. Pick your sticker, son. Put it on your shirt upside-down? Makes sense, if you’re the one who’s looking at it. Go for it.
Shannon and I had arranged for her mother to watch Ben that night while we went out for a date. With each other.
She said that she would be glad to continue just as we had been doing, and we should go have a good time. She even sprung for our dinner. Hello? Am I dreamining? I just handed my kid over to someone willing not only to keep him alive all night while we have fun, but also to continue his first day of potty training and pay for our dinner? Did I mention that moving to Texas turned out to be a great idea?
Brief foray into our evening…
Dinner went great. Movie didn’t, because Shannon didn’t so much like it even though I assured her she would. I agreed it didn’t hold up to a second viewing very well. We got over that, but then I yelled at Shannon in the car while on the phone with my brother. First bad idea: talking on the phone with somebody on a date night (slightly in my defense, I called while she was in the ladies room following the flick, but said person called me back). Second bad idea: Talking on the phone while driving. Third bad idea: Yelling at wife that you know there’s someone merging. First good idea: Follow her into the Walgreen’s she stormed into after you just pulled into the parking to get off the phone and apologize. Second good idea: Avoid mentioning a nightcap, because ain’t no way it’s happening now and you should just salvage what’s left of your platonic evening of fun.
Back to potty training…
The report from my mother-in-law the next day when I picked up Ben at noon? Ben messed up one pair of underwear Saturday night, but none the next day, and pottied several times.
That afternoon and night, he didn’t wet once, and even though we put on a precautionary Pull-Up for the evening’s slumber, he didn’t pee at all through the night. He asked to go potty when he woke up. Read on for the actual text exchanged between me and Ben’s mommy. I got a kick out of it.
—–Original Message—–
From: Mark, Shannon and Benjamin
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2006 2:31 PM
To: Mark
Subject: good boy
Guess who hasn’t had an accident all day??? He has asked to go to the potty every time & even went twice w/o even asking me! I just put him down for his nap & he insisted on wearing underwear, so hopefully that will work out well. We’ll see! I’m so proud of our little man!
love,
me
—–Original Message—–
From: Mark
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2006 3:08 PM
To: ************
Subject: RE: good boy
That’s awesome!! Now stop making me get all misty-eyed at work.
Just kidding. You can tell me stuff like this ANY time!
love,
me
—–Original Message—–
From: Mark, Shannon and Benjamin
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2006 3:52 PM
To: Mark
Subject: RE: good boy
Ain’t he just the best??? I don’t think he even cares if he gets a sticker - he just doesn’t want to wear diapers anymore!
BTW, he loved the song you sent (TTLS). He kept asking me to play it over & over again!
love,
me
—–Original Message—–
From: Mark Williams
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2006 3:53 PM
To: ***************
Subject: RE: good boy
That’s cool! On the diapers and the song.
I just hope he craps soon.
In the potty.
love,
me
—–Original Message—–
From: Mark, Shannon and Benjamin
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2006 3:55 PM
To: Mark
Subject: RE: good boy
mom said he was poopy when he woke up yesterday (in his diaper), so at least he has gone recently. hopefully next time it will be in el pottio.
—–Original Message—–
From: Mark Williams
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2006 4:12 PM
To: ************
Subject: RE: good boy
Oh, so he has crapped. Okay. That’s good.
—–Original Message—–
From: Mark, Shannon and Benjamin
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2006 4:19 PM
To: Mark
Subject: RE: good boy
and he just crapped again … the biggest crap I have ever seen … in the potty!!! I almost took a picture of it to show you how freakin’ big it was … oh my! way to go, Ben!!!
Who is this “me” person that seems to have usurped your Email accounts?
But seriously, we’re still waiting for Dex to go #2 in el pottio as well. He’s got the peeing thing nearly aced (still struggling with naps a bit), but pooping - not so much. Guess whose bedsheet and blanket I took to the backyard after work last night and hosed off? (And no, my wife did not just give birth on our bed again…)
How about first one to have his kid crap in the pottie gets bragging rights? Just like a real old fashioned western gunslingers’ shoot-out, except this time it’s our kids’ bums. First one to ‘drop the step-kids off at the pool’ wins.
Yee-Haw!
Heck… my son’s 21 and I still wonder if he poops his pants… *LOL*
Why is there an email from Mark, and one from “Mark Shannon and Benjamin”??? Are you sending emails to yourself again? The doctor said that’s NOT a good idea Mark! *LOL*
Honey, it was CVS, not Walgreen’s.
Simon, he already did go poop in the potty … did ya not read the last e-mail in the series? So I guess that means we get braggin’ rights (which is only right, since our kid is a year older than yours, right?)! Dry again this morning (& he slept in undies), so it looks like we’ve completed this task. We’ll be prepared for some accidents in the future, just in case, but it’s now been 60 hours that he’s stayed dry. Yee-haw, indeed! I guess there’s something to be said for being lazy parents & waiting until they are way past ready & then going for it.
Dave, the e-mails from Mark are from him at work, and the ones that say “Mark, Shannon, & Benjamin” are from me on our home account. Comprende?
I want somebody to acknowledge the amazing Spanish skills my wife has picked up since moving to the Dallas area. She used “comprende” above, and in the e-mail thread I copied and pasted, she used “el pottio.” She’s a cunning linguist.
Simon - Considering your toddler’s age, I’d say you still could beat us by a good 11 months.
Welby…I hope that all goes well. We’re close on the peeing thing with a few accidents every once in awhile. We push for, pardon the pun, a trip to the potty for number 2, but that meets with big resistance. So…he wears “big boy” pants until he needs to poop, and then he asks us for a diaper. Where’s the logic there? Hey…baby steps right?
He still has occasional accidents when he’s really pre-occupied with playing, but he’s quick to come find us, while employing the Penguin walk, in order to notify us that he needs new clothes.
I’m not sure why number 2 seems to be a sticking point. We’re trying M&M’s now, which are his favorite. We’ve tried stickers, and we’d hoped that the small colored marshmallows that worked for peeing would suffice, but no dice. The deal on the table is two successive poops in the potty, and he will get a James train.
I’m SOOO tired of wiping poo that to tell the truth, I’d probably buy whatever it took to get him to lose the diaper. I’m starting to wonder if he isn’t doing it just to show that he still has control. He’s poo’d in the potty in the past, so I know he can do it, but we’ve just got to get him to buy-in.
Chuck - Oh, we know accidents will come. It’s all part of the deal. My concern right now is that, although Ben didn’t have any accidents today or yesterday, he likes to hold it a long time. He went from 6:30 to 10:30 without peeing Tuesday morning. That’s just waiting for the tickle monster to trigger a geyser.
I hope it keeps going well for you guys.
The still wanting to poop in the diaper is all about control. At least that’s the way I felt when Allen was doing it last spring/summer. Now that he’s been potty trained for a year I would just like to get him to pee standing up. But every time I try to get him to stand up, he acts like I want to break his legs or something. I don’t know…
Alvis - Ben hasn’t pooped in his diaper (or rather, underwear, because he’s not wearing diapers at all anymore) since July 16, and we started all this on July 15. So, that’s pretty good, I’d say.
Yeah, the standing up part should be a fun hurtle.