Regular Life

Regular Life

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. – Robert Frost

Of Bo, Ben, and a Lady’s Eyes

Eye Surgery Update

Apparently my wife is a member of an elite group. Only five percent get in, but not by any effort of their own. In fact, inclusion is thrust upon them, with no fair warning.

Shannon’s vision is still so poor that she can’t read road signs in time to make the turn she needs, and she has a moderate to severe headache by the end of the day. Watching television or anything further than about five or six feet away is a chore.

Don’t get me wrong; her eyesight is not unchanged. In fact, it is enough better that wearing her glasses that correct for her former level of correction and astigmatism just makes it all worse. As a bonus, she has to wait at least three months before the doctor can perform any additional enhancements, and nobody mentioned any corrective lenses for the interim. Isn’t that great?

It’s hard to lambaste Lasik in general, because we’ve heard from and read of so many people who had great experiences. On the other hand, it’s easy to advise folks against the place she went. I prefer not to name it until she’s through all this mess. After that, I will be glad to throw names out there. I will be sure to create a Page that links to all these posts so that anyone researching this type of surgery or this particular surgeon gets our full report.

I shouldn’t say she’s received no indication of why this happened to her. A technician made a backhanded remark suggesting that she wasn’t keeping up with her eye drops. That was complete bullshit rubbish. I was there, and I know she was doing exactly as the instructions directed her. Or as the directions instructed her. Take your pick.

Before she heard the five percent statistic, she read an account written by a female police officer. She said that she was told she could go right back to work following the surgery. Her vision was very blurry, and she works 10 hour shifts and carries a gun. She, like my wife, is stuck that way until the doctor (not Shannon’s) can laser her cornea again. Meanwhile, she has to say, “Stop, or I’ll shoot wildly.”

All of this would be much easier to take had Shannon a surgeon (or even accompanying staff) who seemed to care about patients. The surgeon did not see her on either of her follow-up visits.

There may be light (albeit fuzzy) at the end of the tunnel.

Shannon recently met a woman who works at a medical education institution (again, no names yet) who knows a lot about eye surgeries, particularly of the Lasik variety. Upon hearing Shannon’s description of the surgery, she concluded that she had undergone IntraLasik, the first Shannon had ever heard that term used in reference to her case. I suspected that was it a few days ago when I saw that the instructions read, “Intralasik post-op Instructions.”

I found a fascinating explanation of IntraLasik surgery. This is not Shannon’s doctor, nor is it anyone who has anything to do with her case. I found it on a Google search. A highlight for me was that no patient has ever been stricken blind or needed a corneal transplant as a result of IntraLasik surgery (not true for plain ol’ Lasik, wherein one in every 15,000 goes blind).

So, short story long, she has blurry vision and a depressed disposition, with little information and even less assurance from the doctor. She is going to a different clinic on Monday for a second opinion, but would not dare do anything to void the warranty on her eyes. She just wants at least somebody to tell her what is going on with her individual case, not merely to read a bunch of Internet posts that may or may not be true.

On a high note, Shannon no longer has to sleep with plastic eye shields and does not need to wear goggles when venturing outdoors. The number and doses of the prescription drops has… dropped considerably, but the artificial tears still splash down with unfettered frequency.

She was not able to see many of the animals at the Fort Worth Zoo (post imminent) this weekend.

Bo

I’m on a conference call with tech support reps from both the hardware vendor and the software vendor for a big project. The software guy — we’ll call him Bo — is on vacation, but has mornings available for calls on his mobile phone.

Hardware guy: I’m looking for something on that (sound of keyboard typing).
Bo: I’m gonna have to put you guys down. I gotta change my shirt (sound of phone hitting a table).
Me: Okay (chuckle). That’s a first. (hit headset mute button, laugh out loud)
Hardware guy: (silence, more keyboard typing)

On another call, Thursday morning, with Bo again. I tell him we have to wait on a part from the hardware vendor (fiber optic initiator card), so we need to pick this up at a later time.

Bo: Just call me and let me know.
Me: Okay. Thanks, Bo.
Bo: All right. Love ya. (unintelligible mutterings as he hangs up)

Links

DIY Lasik Surgery (wish we had known about this a week ago. Only $99.95 per eye. Sheesh.)

The Sage’s English Dictionary and Thesaurus – Free dictionary and thesaurus. Unlike many that are free, The Sage does not require an Internet connection to look up words (great for folks like me who compose offline). It is fast and contains more than just the definition. The only drawback? Misspell a word, like “phart,” and it will suggest pharyngeal, pharmocologically, pharmokinetics, etc., but nothing to suggest maybe you should have used an “f” instead of a “ph.” Regardless, it’s still phreakin’ awesome. The company also offers other free software.

Ben Funny Lately?

Ben told one of Shannon’s Mom’s Club ladies that he has a pee-pee and she has a pee-pee, but, “Mommy has a tee-tee.” Now we just need to help him understand that his mommy is not the only lady without body parts identical to Daddy’s. In fact, most of them have something altogether different, the main exception evident only after consumption of Funky Cold Medina.

5 Responses to Of Bo, Ben, and a Lady’s Eyes

  1. You ever see that wicked awesome movie, “Johnny Dangerously” with Michael Keaton? There’s an opposing mobster with the best accent who constantly accuses his foes of being, “Fargin’ Iceholes!!”

    That’s the curse I’d use in your situation. Added bonus of being fun to say.

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  2. Simon – Yep, I’ve seen it, and I love using that guy’s curses. Bastage is another of my favorites. Had she recovered with 20/20 vision within a few days like the overwhelming majority of patients, we still would have had a negative impression of these fargin’ iceholes, but we might have gone about our business and not said much else about it. To have something not go your way when dealing with pricks is no fun at all.

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  3. sorry to hear about your wife’s woes, Mark. That really sucks … I know that s**uff happens, but it is moment’s like this that your doctor’s bedside manner is critical. From the way you’ve made it sound, an electronically generated form letter would be less impersonal than the way your Eye Industries Inc. is treating her. Too bad.

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  4. Holy moly… I can’t believe they screwed up her eyes!

    BTW, when I went, they told me vehemently NOT to overuse the eyedrops, lest you become dependent upon them.
    I used them for 1-2 days, then not again.

    They told me way too many people get dependent upon them when their own tear ducts should be doing the work.

    Tell Shannon I hope this clears up soon.

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  5. I hope things dramatically improve for Shannon. I can’t imagine what it’s like for her. {{{hugs}}}

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