Dec 23 2005
Kiss my Aphorism
“A thought is a thing as real as a cannonball.”
Joseph Joubert
This and other aphorisms can be found in a book that has made my short list.
The World in a Phrase: A Brief History of the Aphorism, by James Geary, sounds like a book I would devour in one sitting. Or, in 10 to 12 short sittings. It covers what most people just call “quotes” by people famous and those you wouldn’t know if they walked up and said hello. They show up as signatures in online message board posts, and in e-mails.
I’ve never been able to come up with a good aphorism of my own, but I like being original. So, I went the satire route. In other words, I can’t do it, so I make fun of it. So, here’s my aphorism:
If something has ever taught me anything, it’s that not everything can teach you something.
You’re welcome to use it, as long as you give proper credit.
More than reading attributed quotes, I love learning about the origin of phrases, and how certain parts of the English language came to be. Many times authors and scholars discover that it depends whom you ask. Those scholars call this field of study etymology, but to me that’s too close to entomology — the study of insects. Nevertheless, another book on my list is Word Origins… and How We Know Them: Etymology for Everyone, supposedly a good read and not just some dry research tome.
I leave you with this quote that I probably wouldn’t call an aphorism, but it makes me laugh:
Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana. - Groucho Marx
Well, one more:
Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
Be good and be good to yourself. Happy Holidays!
*LOL* Love them…. I have many many quotes that I love… like:
Just because an animal is large, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne
“After a time, you may find that “having” is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as “wanting.” It is not logical, but it is often true.”
Spock
“Age does not bring wisdom … but it does give perspective . . . and the saddest perspective of all is to see far, far behind you, the temptations you’ve passed up.”
Robert A. Heinlein, from “Stranger in a Strange Land”
Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, ‘What’s the matter, you can’t think of anybody either?’
I was making love to one girl, I told her, “You’re so flat-chested.”
She said, “Get off my back.”
One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I’ll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.
I tell you I don’t get no respect. Why, the surgeon general, he offered me a cigarette.
I tell you, with my doctor, I don’t get no respect. Well, I told him I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!
When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.”
Rodney Dangerfield
Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
I’m going to stay in show business until I’m the last one left.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”
Pooh’s Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne
Enjoy.
Happy holidays to you and yours, Mark. I delighted in reading your poem to your son. Many shared sentiments there. Read you some more in the new year!
All best, Simon.
One of my favorites, by Mahatma Ghandi, “I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
Speaks volumes.
I tend to do a little writing in my spare time to realive the stress that can sometimes build upon any of us.
“When the path we walk becomes clouded with fear and dobt, remember its the people we surround ourself with that brings light to our path.”
-Brad Smith
11/12/07
“Our worlds share the same sky- one sky, one destiny.”
-Brad Smith
3-8-08