Regular Life

I had to be at the office at 5:30 this morning, so I had some time to blog after I finished up the early work. Just a few random thoughts, most funny, some holiday related.

Funniest Christmas quote of the past:

Upon opening a meat variety pack, my uncle said, “I never sausage a wonderful gift!”

I remember one year during college, when my Christmas shopping fund was severely limited, I bought gifts that I thought people could actually use. For one of my cousins, I bought a mirror that would clamp onto the flip-down car visor, knowing that she didn’t have mirrors there already. The rest of the gifts evidently were quite forgettable, because I can’t think what they were.

When I was 12 or so, I was scooping out some cheese dip my aunt had made (Velveeta and Rotel — anyone else have that at family functions?) and noticed that the ladle handle was melted. For Christmas that year, I bought her a new ladle with a metal handle and attached a poem, which might be the worst thing I’ve ever let the masses read:

Not too expensive,
This gift I’ve dealt.
But at least this time,
The handle won’t melt.

Now that’s bad poetry.

More than once, we found out at the last minute that a rarely seen relative was coming to Christmas, and rushed to Wal-Mart to buy some dress socks, t-shirts, whatever we thought was generic enough for any man to find useful.

Of course, there was the year that I was trying to fly back from Virginia, but the Little Rock area had been hit by an ice storm and my plane change in St. Louis turned into a layover of about eight hours or so. I ended up writing a column about it, and stayed in touch with some of the people I met. The newspaper I wrote for at the time devoted a section of the paper to various reporters’ holiday travel screw-ups (including one guy’s 12-hour drive on a trip that normally takes about four).

That’s it for me. Might or might not get another in before the weekend. If I don’t, then Happy Holidays to all, whatever that holiday might be!

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