Regular Life

Woman, Wife, Mom

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Mark Williams

In the nearly 11 years we were married before you became a mother, I simply knew you as Shannon, and Mother’s Day was a time to buy my mom a card and maybe call her.

When you and I met, we hit it off quickly, and got married sooner than many thought was advisable — including my aforementioned mother.

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While we didn’t agree with that assessment, we knew we didn’t need to throw a child into the mix immediately. We were never quite where we wanted to be financially, but who ever is? Through the next decade we brought up our sweet dog Lexie from a four-week old pup. Although we learned a few things about taking turns with pet care, and loved her very much, the challenges of taking care of her didn’t even hint at what was to come. We knew that, and so we waited.

Regardless of the various reasons, they all added up to our waiting more than a decade to have a child. We might not have learned much about child rearing, but we learned a lot about one another. Many are thrust into parenthood before they have had a chance to get their bearings as a couple, let alone keep another human being alive with any sense of grace or confidence.

Still not sure we’ve mastered that last part, but who ever does?

When I think back now I have a hard time recalling what we did before we were parents. Watched a lot more TV, for the most part. Those VHS tapes labeled for each day of the week were ample evidence of that.

Back then, you were my wife. Now, instead of becoming your mom or my mom, you’re the kind of mom our home needs. I am proud for anyone to meet you and our son.

Sure, I’ve always done my share of the parenting, but you are the one who gets him off to school in the morning, and manages him during homework time. You spend the most time making sure he becomes an independent, responsible man. While doing all that you manage our home.

When we met I knew you were beautiful, funny, smart, and caring. Soon I knew we had a lot in common, and that I loved you, and you were a great woman. When I married you, you became a great wife. Now you are a great mom, and that has revealed depth in your strength and character that I might never have known otherwise.

How lucky was I that the woman I chose (and who chose me!) happened to thrive on being a caring mother to our son?

Happy Mother’s Day!

Remembering AJ

Posted on April 25, 2013 by Mark Williams

In August of 2012 I found myself in a CVS Pharmacy restroom in Conway, Arkansas, changing from casual clothes into a black suit. I was fortunate that it was a clean men’s room.

A few days before that, through the modern device of online social media I found out that a college friend had passed away. He was nearly 10 years my senior, but still not what I generally consider “old enough” to die.

A trucker by trade, AJ was licensed to drive large groups. Many times we all crammed ourselves into a 13-passenger van and AJ safely guided the vehicle to our destination — sometimes more than 1000 miles roundtrip. I don’t know whether he knew it, but he missed out on some of the camaraderie by being up there behind the wheel.

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Top 43 Android Apps That I Use

Posted on April 17, 2013 by Mark Williams

Now that I have had a smartphone for about seven months (before you look, this post was written in April 2013, believe it or not), I figure it’s time to point out some favorite Android apps (many also available for iPhone). If you’re looking for games, go elsewhere, as I don’t really play games much.

I have enough apps on my Droid Razr that I have grouped some of them into categories to keep down the clutter and reduce swiping away from the home screen. I present my favorites below, in the same categories I use.

All are free unless otherwise stated, and I note whether they are available for iOS (iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad), if I know for certain.

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DishNetwork Getting More Like Cable Companies

Posted on April 16, 2013 by Mark Williams

We have been very happy with our DishNetwork service for all the 10-plus years we have been customers.

For the first time, they are moving toward a system that’s eerily similar to that used by cable companies. By that, I mean that with the new Hopper and Joey system, they require not only a receiver for your main television (the Hopper), but also additional units (Joeys) attached to any television you wish to use with the system. Dish always has charged a monthly for the main package and the receiver, but now there’s a new wrinkle.

While there are pros and cons of staying with the old system, versus going with the new, I’m starting to wish I had kept our previous receiver rather than upgrading to the new Hopper system — for now.

Quick Tip:
If you are a DishNetwork dual-tuner DVR user who has not yet “upgraded” to the Hopper, and storage space is your primary concern, consider buying an external hard drive for your existing DVR and being happy with what you have. It will save you money after the initial fee of adding a hard drive.

Now, to the full story, for the “why” of it all.

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Fighting Attention Problems

Posted on March 21, 2013 by Mark Williams

We have stopped using the TV at our house on weeknights. Well, let me back up a step. We do not turn on the television before our son goes to bed.

Baby steps, people.

This is part of our effort to hit our son’s attention deficit disorder (ADD) from the environmental angle. Included in that is controlling things in his diet like artificial colors and added sweeteners (natural and artificial). I’m not saying we have completely cut those things, but when even my wife is reading ingredient labels before purchasing, I know we’re making progress.

After just one week, his bedtimes already have gone more smoothly.

I am proud to say, also, that the few times he has emerged from his bedroom this week to use the bathroom, he has looked down the hallway to catch us reading and playing Solitaire, not watching TV. It surely must be easier to enforce a rule when you yourself follow it.

Easier, too, when favorite shows like “Downton Abbey” and “Breaking Bad” are not showing new episodes.

It isn’t that we planted our son in front of the television or stuffed him with Skittles prior to these intiatives. On the contrary, he always prefers playing with friends in the neighborhood over anything else, and rarely eats candy. Sometimes, however, we would allow television after school if he had all his homework done and there was nobody available to play with him. From the food angle, I was surprised at some products that use artificial colors.

I also don’t want to come across as saying that TV causes attention problems, although there are conflicting rather than consensual reports on that claim. This seems to hinge on what age the television watching begins. I certainly believe it can aggravate what’s already there, and that for some children (and adults!) it is an unhealthy reprieve from real life. It’s one thing for an adult to use it as an occasional escape, versus letting children camp out in front of it before they have developed reading comprehension and social skills.

I had read at least 10 years ago that watching television stimulates the brain in ways that are not always conducive to calm behavior. Between then and now I also saw studies on artificial colors causing problems for those already predisposed to attention deficit, not to mention the potential cancer-causing effects. We decided to eliminate TV on school nights after a friend did the same and saw positive results in her ADD-afflicted son. Similarly, we started paying more attention to food labels after more than one friend saw fewer attention problems in their children.

We may not be trailblazers, but at least we try to be picky about whom we follow.

That brings me to whom the United States should follow. Why not err on the side of caution, as do many European countries? For one, Kraft Mac & Cheese in the United Kingdom is sold without artificial colors, but in the United States it is loaded with them. Likewise with M&M’s. If they consume these products in other countries, then what makes manufacturers think Americans wouldn’t?

Some companies are responding to consumers’ health concerns — sort of. For one, PepsiCo, already not using brominated vegetable oil (BVO) in Gatorade sold in Europe and Japan, has decided to pull the ingredient from that product in the United States. Sadly, however, they are replacing it with another artificial ingredient (sucrose acetate isobutyrate) that presents its own problems. That doesn’t impact our family because we don’t use Gatorade, but it is a good example of how hard it is to convince companies to go all the way with their efforts.

Aside from using only fresh ingredients and making everything from scratch (just not going to happen in our home), controlling what our family ingests is difficult, and I believe that companies already selling products without artificial ingredients in other countries should do better in the United States.

As far as television viewing time? That is strictly up to parents.

We’re just taking both of these problems day by day.